I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
