i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
