Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
