i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
