Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
