I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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