DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
