Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
