Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
