STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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