"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I bet he comes in French.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
