And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
