easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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