the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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