Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
