dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
