Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
