arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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