I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
