Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
