I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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