Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
