Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
