chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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