You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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