shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you never un-have a 4some
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