I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
