5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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