I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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