If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
