There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Found the puke drawer
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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