woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
false alarm, still single
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
