I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
