found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
