i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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