Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
