stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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