I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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