Having a random hookup so left but love u
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
