office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
