Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
