i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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