there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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