It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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