You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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