it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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