Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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