Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
