Im at strip club and am horny
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
