I think i peed on brittanys purse
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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