I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
