Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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